Special Scarriet Poetry-Baseball Report (poetrybaseball newswire)

After being swept—and shut out in all four games by the Philadelphia Poe, the Tennessee Ransom knew they needed hitting.  

The middle part of John Crowe Ranson’s lineup: John Gould Fletcher, Allen Tate, Robert Graves, Donald Davidson and Merrill Moore, wasn’t getting it done. 

Cleanup-hitter Robert Graves was rumored to be on mushrooms (he recommended them to students when he was Poetry Professor at Oxford in the 1960s) and there was a confrontation last week in the dugout between the Welsh poet and Ransom, his manager. 

Tempers flared as Graves, who was briefly part of Ransom’s Fugitive circle, recalled Ransom’s disaparagement of Laura Riding when she was also a Fugitive in Ransom’s Southern Agrarian days. 

Back then, Ransom, in a letter to Allen Tate, said Riding lacked breeding and didn’t bring enough to the Fugitive table.  She was ousted.  Graves complained of sexism in Tennessee.  “Where are the women on this ballclub?” Graves shouted at Ransom.

The Tennessee Ransom has replied to Graves in a huge way.  They have signed perhaps the most sexist philosopher of all time, and one of the most influential, and put him in the cleanup spot, benching Graves.

Aristotle is the founding father of ‘text-based’ aesthetics, which fits right in with Ransom’s New Criticism. 

Aristotle, who got the deal he wanted, also adds much-needed muscle to the middle of Ransom’s lineup.

Since adding Aristotle and benching Graves, Tennessee has scored 21 runs in 4 games and now they’ve won 3 straight, bringing their record up to 7-13 for the season, 3 games up on the cellar-dwelling Ashberys in the NL.

After being humiliated by Poe, Tennessee is back.

1 Comment

  1. thomasbrady said,

    April 30, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    NL Standings

    Philadelphia Poe 14-6
    Cambridge Longfellows 12-8
    Boston Lowells 12-8
    Hartford Whittiers 11-9
    Maine Millays 11-9
    New York Bryants 10-10
    New Jersey Ginsbergs 9-11
    Concord Emersons 9-11
    Tennessee Ransoms 7-13
    Brooklyn Ashberys 4-16

    In other news, Karl Marx and John Stuart Mill have been signed by Concord. The Emersons are breaking the bank to win this thing.

    Abe Lincoln of the New York Bryants and Henry Adams of the Boston Lowells lead the NL in wins with 4.

    The Poe have looked helpless lately against the Maine Millays, losing 3 straight by a combined score of 22-8. Their stunning shutout sweep of the Ransom already seems like a distant memory.

    Bob Dylan continues to homer for the Ginsbergs and leads the NL with 10.

    The Brooklyn Ashberys have a 2 game winning streak in the wake of some key signings to help their hitting: J.L. Austin, John Cage, and Camus. Christopher Smart, Clare, Beddoes, Arthur Danto, and Dali could be next.

    The Ashberys’ offense has been miserable. If it comes around, they should contend; Brooklyn has a solid, if quirky, pitching staff: Warhol (0-5), Beckett (2-3), Wittgenstein (1-3), Charles Bernstein (1-2), and Andrew Marvell (0-3).
    “We have a good team, ” Ashbery said stoically. “We just need to be patient.”

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