The world is too big to be a liberal.
Too many people are happy.
Your complaints fall on deaf ears.
A loser’s racism is just as bad as a winner’s.
We’re all racists, and do you know what the liberal hero wants the most?
When he comes downstairs in the morning, he wants his perfectly done goddamned toast.
The world is too big to be a liberal, I’m sorry to say.
The climate needs help.  But they threw your circular away.
They spilled some oil. You going to cry for a duck?
We need oil. Accidents happen.  And no one gives a fuck.
Oh that’s right.  The lawyers do.
Does it matter if they’re liberal—as they sue?
The climate needs to help the planet which needs to help the sun
Which is giving off a stink.  But things stink to everyone.
Do you think it finally matters if you’re gay or not?
There’s a kleenex for tears—and the same one for snot.
If you have boogies on your face, take them off.
Take swimming lessons. Do something about that cough.
The world’s too big to be a liberal. Do it yourself,
Or call up somebody and supplement your wealth,
Or imagine the estate that looks like a dream—
Those are liberals being liberal in that limousine.
In that liberal castle lives a liberal queen—
Pay attention!  No, the lesson’s lost—
It all has a reason.  It all has a cost.
You think you are going to make people nice?
Look pal, I’ve got some advice:
Print some money. Give it to the poor.  So they’ll vote for you.
Go door-to-door in good cheer. The poor suckers invite you in for a beer!
Sell them some anarchy, some libertarian voice of ass,
Then go back to school, go to the top of the class
In debt! and then bet on humans, Pol Pot and wife and kid.
The world is too big to be a liberal.  Because look what you did.

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