If Joe Biden laughed at me, I’d punch him in the face,
Civility the first requirement of the human race.

Thank the sun, the rain, the bounty which even on the undeserving pours,
Thank your country and democracy and the opinion that’s different than yours.

Print money and give it to the poor that you might buy their vote,
Love animals, but little humans in the womb smote.

Pander to those who want to get paid
But speak honestly to those who want to get laid.

If we don’t arm ourselves, others will invade;
Don’t you figure this out in first grade?

I like sports, guns, dogs, cigars and cigarettes,
I love pretty women as long as they are pets;
Please vote for the party that best supports the vets.

I have a Volvo.  I barely escaped my birth.
The natural planet is the best way to measure worth,
And there’s a hole for the corporate rich in my dear mother Earth.

Hard work and science. All the rest is crap:
A crucifix on the wall.  A little nap.

“From fairest creatures we desire increase…”
—That sounds so right-wing, I just want some peace…

I have a bathtub, and that is all I got.
Why tax my tub and not tax that yacht?

Redistribute wealth!  Justice is our cry!
But that impulse turns ugly with a shrinking pie…

The birds in the trees make a pretty sound
But Man’s life is this: taking coal out of the ground.

Division of labor will always be unjust;
Things that people want turn into a must,
And every ideal and dream crumbles into dust.

If the Queen laughed at me, I’d punch her in the face,
Civility the first requirement of the human race.



  1. mpv.muthu said,

    October 14, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    Well said. Were and are facts. Poet deserves appreciation.


  2. marcusbales said,

    October 15, 2012 at 3:38 am

    The libertarian zircon’s major fault
    Aside from how it lures, without the loupe
    Of learning, the young to think that they’re John Galt,
    That wealth and fame will come in one swell foop,
    Then find that Housman’s right about how malt
    Not Milton Friedman makes them less a dupe
    Is how a family and mortgage makes it clearer
    That wealth and fame recede in the rearview mirror,

    That major fault, I say, in all this talk
    Of liberty and freedom is the time
    And work it takes to even learn to walk
    Before you ever make or lose a dime —
    Metaphorically — and it’s a shock
    To hear how far away the siren chime
    Of wealth and fame have gotten while you’re learning
    The bit you need to keep what you’ve been earning.

    However big or smart or fast you are
    There’s always someone bigger, smarter, faster –
    And out there in the libertarian bazaar
    The only skills you’ve got are those you master
    By yourself. It’s close but no cigar
    In every case, and dodging each disaster
    Til you don’t – and then, well, then you’re done.
    You’re fast until you meet a faster gun.

    That’s the lure of the libertarian fife:
    You’re on your own with none to wish you luck.
    At almost every point there’s stress and strife
    And where there’s not you’ll find a jive or shuck.
    They’ll take your cash, car, kids, dog, wife, and life
    And fuck you like a course in how to fuck.
    There won’t be any last-minute interventions:
    The road to serfdom’s paved with good intentions.

  3. noochinator said,

    October 15, 2012 at 9:48 am

    If you assaulted the Veep, dear Tom,
    The Service would react with much alarm,
    And you’d be beaten and thrown in a cell—
    A coffee-chat story for wage slaves to tell.

  4. noochinator said,

    May 21, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    The comedian Pat Paulsen said some very funny things, especially about politics:

    “You need a left wing and a right wing or the airplane won’t fly.”

    “I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.”

    “If either the right wing or the left wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.”

    “A good many people feel that our present draft laws are unjust. These people are called soldiers.”

    Presidential campaign slogan: “I’ve upped my standards. Now, up yours.”

    “We have nothing to fear but fear itself…and of course the bogeyman.”

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