SHE DREAMS OF ME

Today I saw the saddest face:

A mask of misery and disgrace

Presented for my taste;

The mask is the truth. All of life is a waste

When love is destroyed by pride,

When lovers, once lovers, deride.

The river of love is both narrow and wide;

In the stream we played side by side;

Now big ships ride

The swelling waters; we still touch the waters

But are lost to each other on the other side.

In our miserable aloneness

We follow the old habitual paths

And often cross in those paths.

She boils. She suffers the sin of wrath.

I am placid. I neither weep nor laugh.

I am sorrowful, and loving as always.

I have no desire to speak; she

Doesn’t value speech, poetry

Isn’t her thing; she thinks of me

Much more viscerally;

I don’t dream of her, but she

Dreams of me.

In that dream I say, “Please,

Can’t you see

That I love you?” And she

Turns in her sleep violently.

 

 

 

 

 

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15 Comments

  1. maryangeladouglas said,

    February 5, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    I know this is not the heart of the poem but I couldn’t help but notice how the rhymes flow coversationally, naturally, almost like breathing a difficult thing made to look easy while expressing a difficult subject. Derision of who or what was once loved is such a terrible, weird force. The weirdest thing (in the Poe sense of the word weird) is that the more violent derision is, the less it helps; in fact it doesn’t help at all which makes one wonder why is it such an innately human universal reaction to things falling, fallen apart. It solves nothing.

    In terms of a song cycle which you seem continuously to be writing as if from the same poetic spool, the placid mood seems to be affording you that poetic tone where the personal and universal more perfectly intersect which is the way all great poetry used to be regarded; since that was inevitably, the hallmark of it. At least, I think so. Don’t mean to sound didactic; it really is how it feels to me.

    • thomasbrady said,

      February 5, 2016 at 4:38 pm

      Mary,

      I love what you say about my work. If I’m dreaming these poems, you are a good angel in these dreams…

      Tom

  2. maryangeladouglas said,

    February 5, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    Well, I don’t say anything lightly. I find very view contemporary poets I can relate to though I do find some good and something worth preserving in almost everyone’s work if I look long enough. In your poetry and also in your musical compositions I find a true Romantic spirit and it is no wonder that you value Keats and the Romantic age so greatly. It makes me also seriously question the point of view that assumes that writers are always children of their own time. Maybe sometimes they are but sometimes they really aren’t. In poetry and in all the arts I strongly feel our affinities can be whatever we choose, going back as far as we want in Poetry, Art, or Music, or even in the Fine Arts, Architecture, for example. (Although in the case of achitecture you are liable to hear from the Neighborhood Association).

    I do feel strongly connected to my middle name in terms of the definition of angel as messenger. I try to live up to the messenger aspect in what I say to some people, for instance, you Thomas Graves on your poetry because I feel you represent something incredibly valuable. I hope I am at least a good messenger and not shirking what I have to say.

    You are also brave in a good many of your essays in what you write. This is definitely a cookie cutter, conformist age i think. But maybe, I think hopefully, maybe many people would like to get out of that; they just don’t know how yet.

  3. maryangeladouglas said,

    February 5, 2016 at 6:31 pm

    very few not very view (haha stuck on alliteration above meaning)

  4. maryangeladouglas said,

    February 5, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    I meant to say about the rhymes in your poem that they were almost imperceptible, a really wonderful almost melting quality.

  5. thomasbrady said,

    February 5, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Thanks again, Mary. What I write about is real. I am nearly out of my mind with grief because of something stupid I did, and yet maybe it was proper and meant to be, I don’t know. I lost love and poetry is a great help right now.

    Re-reading the poem, yes I love the way it rhymes a lot and yet seems all very natural, even as the music aids the sense.

  6. maryangeladouglas said,

    February 5, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    Speaking as a person 65 years old (today) I can say that many things I said or did I thought were stupid at the time and wondered if things generally might have gone differently if I hadn’t said or done the stupid things- I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and I think without exception things turned out for the best and that there were even dangers I didn’t realize hidden in the course I thought my life SHOULD follow, yet didn’t. No matter what Poetry and any artistic expression, ability is a friend especially in times like those but I would like to say a non discouraging word to you on the subject of stupid things done or said. Oftentimes it is the best thing you could have said or done because there IS a grace that shapes our lives (I believe it is God Himself) like that line from Shakespeare which I can’t quote correctly but that goes something like ‘there is a Divinity that shapes our ends; rough hew them how we will.” Don’t worry. Whatever you lose in life, as a poet, you gain in your art. It is a very real compensation. I found out many facts after the fact of the thing said or done I regretted which made me thank my lucky stars that what I wished for, for WHATEVER reason (whether my fault or not) DID NOT come true. I hope this rambling helps.

    • thomasbrady said,

      February 5, 2016 at 10:50 pm

      Mary, that does help. It was crazy what I did, and yet, from a poetic standpoint, it does make sense that I did it. I keep going back and forth—was I stupid? Or was I wise? Did I have to do that? All I can say was I don’t know how I write my poems, and I don’t know why I did the odd thing I did, but I did it, and I think it may have been a master stroke, correct from the standpoint of the soul.

  7. maryangeladouglas said,

    February 6, 2016 at 12:18 am

    Human beings are not perfect no matter what they believe. In any case we can’t change what we already said or did. If we have hope in God we can be forgiven for our egregious mistakes. And whatever we do out of our real heart and mind can bring us closer to God and to truth and to peace. That’s what I believe. We are often at war within ourselves with what we say, what we do, what we feel, what we think; it is very frustrating. But there is a Higher Love in God and I believe, in Christ that if we are humble to recognize it AS higher can lead us on; and I believe true art as we do our best to express according to the light that is in us is a great support to us (and hopelfully to others) in our lifetime which we cannot completely know anyway since we are in it and can’t gain a perspective outside of it. You do have to let go of what you can’t change or it can drive you crazy. Seek peace by letting it alone. I think so.

    • thomasbrady said,

      February 6, 2016 at 2:15 am

      Yes, you know I realized I did make mistakes, but nothing major or harmful, or intentional, and the other was not able to forgive. I realized they were like a computer program…if you did this, you were wrong, and then if you followed the wrong path you made it worse until the computer froze, broke down. There was no human empathy…no communication…if you proceeded down the incorrect path, the machine reacted with negative feedback, and that was it. It was making me crazy. You start to fear saying or doing the wrong thing, and since all human emotion is “wrong” to a machine, you begin to repress and over-think and become paranoid.

      • maryangeladouglas said,

        February 6, 2016 at 3:21 am

        When I was in college I took a little course called Communication and Thought about philosophical and psychological theories of communication and for decades after it I had confidence that if you could just find the right words to say it would be possible to have good communication. I held onto this ideal for a very long time until I finally realized that some people do not want good communication but enjoy sabatoging things and deliberately taking things the wrong way and some people are totally unable to see another person’s point of view. I also realized that I msyelf could be this way and finally I realized that it is impossible FOR ANYONE to say the right thing to every single person every single time. It is like a mine field. So then I just became grateful for tiny moments of relatively good communication with people and realized what a miracle it was considering every person is kind of their own cosmos.

        • maryangeladouglas said,

          February 6, 2016 at 3:26 am

          When I was in college I took a little course called Communication and Thought about philosophical and psychological theories of communication and for decades after it I had confidence that if you could just find the right words to say it would be possible to have good communication. I held onto this ideal for a very long time until I finally realized that some people do not want good communication but enjoy sabatoging things and deliberately taking things the wrong way and some people are totally unable to see another person’s point of view. I also realized that I msyelf could be this way and finally I realized that it is impossible FOR ANYONE to say the right thing to every single person every single time. It is like a mine field. So then I just became grateful for tiny moments of relatively good communication with people and realized what a miracle it was considering every person is kind of their own cosmos.

          Thank God for dogs. You can say anything to them and they’re happy you’re even talking to them. But cats will actually quite often walk out of the room or give you a weird look.

          • maryangeladouglas said,

            February 6, 2016 at 3:33 am

            Haha. Then there’s the people who repeat themselves. Sorry comment went through twice, without my realizing it. And I didn’t mean to infer that I sabotage communication, just that I err on the side of taking things the wrong way sometimes due to sheer ignorance and lack of context.

  8. thomasbrady said,

    February 6, 2016 at 2:18 am

    Happy Birthday, Mary!

  9. maryangeladouglas said,

    February 6, 2016 at 3:06 am

    Thank you Thomas Graves! I am so happy to still be on the earth. I am in fact exactly 65 this very moment, about 2 minutes ago. My mother had to leave the movie theatre and never saw the ending of Born Yesterday. But she was kind and forgave me.


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