When I decided what I needed, I went inside
The heart, where feelings hide,
Where decisions are made
When the mind’s away,
And floated on myself, that immense tide
Of surrender, where the world can’t interfere
Since only what interests me is here.
When I decided what I wanted, I knew
It was me that needed pleasing, not you,
And this is how I fell out of love.
Because love is wanting to satisfy another’s need.
It was easy silencing love,
My hunger and my endorphins agreed.
It was simple to go inside
Where brutal, selfish feelings hide
And to treat myself well,
And everyone else’s needs went to hell.
So I went into that place
Where I could not see anyone else’s face
Unless I wanted to,
And maybe in some fantasy I could kiss you.
So I discovered that it was the world that was me,
I knew the world, writing me, writing the self, writing myself, in poetry.
I was doing well, inside a place
Where my heart smiled blankly on my face.
But then I was conquered by a single strand of hair—
Worth more than all I found in there.