THE GAY MAN HYPNOTIZING THE WOMEN

Just out of college, nothing to say,

But what job, and how far away

And I have something to share

To all of you, but I told Lisa first,

Who first heard about my heartbreak,

And now I’m going to share it with you guys, too.

I spent all day Sunday in bed watching Sex and the City

And really crying. He wasn’t afraid to touch me in public

And he was gentle and also pretty

But I’ve worked hard and deserve to be happy

In my great new job, and if he won’t move, what can I do?

“You’ve learned from this, it only gets better with each new one

You date,” a hopeful one pipes up, the whole conversation

As shallow as a beer commercial, but the women are relaxed

And can be themselves, the shy one quiet if she wants to be,

Because it is shallow and unexamined, life and love are nice this way,

And this is what he does, creating a safe and harmless atmosphere.

Life is too difficult and sad—simple needs are what we listen to and say.

A woman with masculine features who was sad, and now is not confused, but gay.

Only once, the relaxed conversation had to stop.

A tiny puppy oh my God came into the shop.

Oh power over all! oh the long lines to see!

The loving emptiness of purest feelings, eventually.

 

4 Comments

  1. noochinator said,

    May 14, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    I spent all day Sunday watching Bored to Death (great show!) and feeling envious of its creator Jonathan Ames.

    • thomasbrady said,

      May 14, 2018 at 8:32 pm

      His Blunt Talk was cancelled even quicker.

      • noochinator said,

        May 14, 2018 at 9:16 pm

        I’ve never seen that one—Wikipedia tells me it lasted two seasons. Bored to Death was on three seasons, 8 eps a season. I really dig B.t.D., I think it’s an excellent show, in both the cast and the writing. The show ran from 2009 to 2011 and I’d never heard of it, but that’s probably because I’ve usually tried to avoid Brooklyn-based McSweeney’s-type literature—but B.t.D. really fits my lock….

  2. noochinator said,

    May 18, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    Here’s a funny clip from the 3rd season of Bored to Death—the characters played by Jason Schwartzman & Ted Danson are seeing a counselor to patch up their friendship:


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