Merv Griffin told his manager Bob Hope to keep smiling and Bob Hope told his team to keep smiling, and they not only smiled, they laughed, even when they were 25-38 in early June. Then Merv Griffin told Bob Hope, “I found you a couple of pitchers. Charlie Chaplin and Woody Allen. They’ll sign and start playing tomorrow.” The Gamers started winning. Muhammad Ali and MC Escher joined Menander, Charles Bernstein, Clive James, EE Cummings, and Christian Morgenstern in the bullpen in August. The Gamers played too recklessly, at first. James Tate, replaced by Garrison Keillor, and then Chaplin, thought it was funny to throw at hitters. Bob Hope called an April meeting. “It’s okay to taunt the opposing team, but do it gently, subtly,” Joe Green, the Gamers third baseman (.263 11 homers), remembers Hope saying. Billy Collins would homer to put his team ahead, then make an error in the field to lose the game. As the season went on, the Gamers began to focus more. They put their wit into winning on the field, and transformed themselves from a team playing for fun into a team winning for fun.
The season for the Kolkata Cobras, Beijing Waves, and Los Angeles Gamers came down to the final day.
Chairman Mao’s Waves (managed by Jack Dorsey) were hosting the Cobras in Beijing, having been knocked out of the race the day before, when Tagore beat Voltaire 7-3 in Kolkata, as Jeet Thayil and Sushmita Gupta homered and Anand Thakore went 4-4 for the Cobras. The Cobras owned the Waves in head-to-head meetings most of the year, and Rumi, a 21 game winner and riding a 7-0 streak, was going for Kolkata.
The Gamers had kept even with the Cobras the previous day behind Lewis Carroll’s fourth straight win, a 5-4 victory against Aristotle, in Los Angeles. Lewis Carroll, hitting in the ninth spot, took Aristotle deep early, as the Gamers took a 2-0 lead. After Santa Barbara tied it 4-4, Thomas Hood homered on a 3-2 pitch from Aristotle to lift the Gamers in their biggest win of the season so far.
With Rumi going for the Cobras, Merv Griffin’s team was sure they had to win their final game against the Laws in Santa Barbara—where LA owned a miserable 3 and 12 season record. The pitching match up favored the Laws—Santa Barbara was sending Francis Bacon, a 15 game winner, against Democritas (12-13). Lord Bacon had been up and down all year, but he did have 4 shut outs and 250 Ks.
The Waves did the Gamers a favor. Lucretius beat Rumi 8-3, as the Waves revenged themselves on the Cobras, a team which had stood between them and a division title all year. Billie Holiday, Gary B. Fitzgerald, Bertolt Brecht, and Wendell Berry homered for Mao’s Waves.
John Donne and Walter Raleigh hit back to back homers against Democritas, as the Santa Barbara Laws took a 2-0 lead. With the bases loaded, Joe Green speared a line drive to prevent further damage. Green led off the next inning and singled. With two out, Betjeman homered and tied the score for the Gamers. Lord Bacon struck out the next seven hitters in a row; Democritas loaded the bases in the 5th and 6th innings, escaping with double plays. In the 8th, the Laws went ahead 4-2. Donald Justice tripled in Reed Whitmore and Anna Akhmatova. Bacon, who had retired 16 straight hitters, started the 9th. Green singled, Dorothy Parker, batting for Democritas, walked. Noel Coward walked. Ferdinand Saussure relieved Bacon for the Laws. Billy Collins then hit his 39th homer of the season for the Gamers, an opposite field pop fly down the line, pushed by the wind, just inches fair, for a home run. It was almost comical; no one could believe it was a home run. The Laws loaded the bases (again!) in the ninth against Muhammad Ali. MC Escher got the final out, striking out Fred Seidel, making the Gamers champs of the Peoples Division.
Gamers 82 72 Winner Owner Merv Griffin, Manager Bob Hope, Team Leaders: Billy Collins 39 homers, John Betjeman .325, Noel Coward 23 SB, Lewis Carroll 17-13, 3.04 ERA
Cobras 81 73 Owner Satyajit Ray, Manager Rupi Kaur, Jadoo Akhtar 32, Vikram Seth .334, Samar Sen 28 SB, Rumi 21-10, Tagore 2.76
Waves 81 73 Owner Chairman Mao, Manager Jack Dorsey, Li Po 28/Tu Fu 28, Li Po .333, Li He 25 SB, Voltaire 18-14, Lao Tzu 3.05
Laws 76 78 Owner Dick Wolf, Manager Moshe Rabbenu, John Donne 35, Jane Kenyon .297, Gottfried Burger 21 SB, Horace 16-15, Aristotle 3.44
Mist 63 91 Owner Akira Kurosawa, Manager Eiji Yoshikawa, Hilda Doolittle 29, John Lennon .342, Richard Brautigan 32 SB, Issa 15-18, Yukio Mishima 3.10
Scarriet 
Chado said,
September 28, 2020 at 1:04 pm
Never heard of most of these boomers . . .