GAME ONE RESULTS

October 1, 2020 at 3:43 pm (Alexander Hamilton, Beethoven, Ben Mazer, Billy Beane, Billy Collins, Bob Hope, Cervantes, Charles Dickens, George Washington, Gerard Manley Hopkins, J.D.Salinger, Jean Cocteau, John Keats, Jonathan Swift, Joyce Kilmer, Lewis Caroll, Mary Angela Douglas, Thomas Jefferson)

Unsealing the confessional - Letters - TLS

Gerard Manley Hopkins. The soul of Madrid’s Crusaders?

Banners 4 Secrets 1  Game One in Boston.

John Keats hit a 3 run homer in top of the 11th inning on a 3-2 Thomas Jefferson fastball, as the Wild Card Banners drew first blood.  Dante, four strikeouts, and Poe, six strikeouts, both lasted into the ninth, 0-0.  Christina Rossetti singled in Ben Mazer off current Secrets closer Alexander Hamilton to give the Banners a 1-0 lead. Emily Dickinson knocked in Cole Porter off the Banners’ closer Boccaccio in the bottom of the ninth, to tie things 1-1 and send the game into extra innings. Sandro Botticelli pitched a scoreless 10th and 11th inning to get the win.  Florence is up 1-0!

Laureates 9 Gamers 4  Game One in Dublin.

Charles Dickens and Alexandre Dumas homered, and Sara Teasdale went 3-4 with 3 runs and 2 stolen bases, as the Laureates chased Lewis Carroll in the fourth inning on the way to an easy 9-4 victory.  Ionesco and Billy Collins hit back to back homers for the Gamers in the 8th and Noel Coward tripled in two in the 9th, but it was too little, too late, as Jonathan Swift allowed 3 hits and fanned five in 7 innings of work. JD Salinger and Livy finished up for Dublin.  Laureates win game one at home.

Universe 6 Crusaders 5  Game One in Madrid.

Beethoven falls to Spielberg’s Universe in Madrid, as an error by Gerard Manley Hopkins in center allows 3 runs to score in the first inning. Hopkins hit a 2 run homer in the 7th and Joyce Kilmer sliced a bases loaded double to make it a 5 run inning, as the Crusaders went up 5-4. But in the top of the 8th, Bishop Berkeley relieved Beethoven with one on and yielded a 2 run homer to Chuck Berry. Harriet Beecher Stowe, who was near-perfect except for the wild 7th inning, stayed in the game, finished strong, and earned the win, as Jean Cocteau retired the final batter for the save, with Mary Angela Douglas waiting to score on second base.  A narrow victory for the Universe, as they go up 1-0 in the series.

The Press Conferences

George Washington, manager, Secrets

Press: Mr. President, were the Secrets distracted by the controversial poem, “Blacks Matter,” which your left fielder Kanye West recited to a crowd outside the park before the game?

Washington: No. Poe wasn’t distracted. Look at how he pitched.

Press: But you lost the game.

Washington: My players aren’t distracted by poetry.

~~

Erasmus, manager, Banners

Press: Keats only had two home runs through May. Why wasn’t he hitting home runs earlier?

Erasmus: He wasn’t eating his Wheaties. (smiles)

Press: How do you feel about this win, beating Poe and the Secrets in Boston?

Erasmus: Winning has nothing to do with feelings. Dante pitched with expertise. My team has faith in expertise.

~~

Bob Hope, manager, Gamers

Press: Charles Dickens help beat you with a big home run today. Why are some of your players saying, Charles Dickens is not a poet?

Hope: If it’s not poetry, it hits pretty good.  Look, we don’t get to say what poetry is. I tell my players, just have fun. And win.

Press: The Dublin fans were yelling insensitive things at Lewis Carroll today. Did they get under his skin?

Hope: We’re not playing the Dublin fans. The Laureates are a good team. We know what we have to do.

~~

Cervantes, manager, Crusaders

Press: Tough loss. Do you regret taking Beethoven out of the game? He clearly didn’t want to leave.

Cervantes: I’m the manager.

Press: But Beethoven was still throwing hard—

Cervantes: I am the manager.

~~

Billy Beane, manager, Universe

Press: It proved to be the right move, but why did you stay with Harriet Beecher Stowe in that five run seventh?

Beane: Because it was the right move.

Press: You’re a baseball guy, not a poet. Does that feel strange?

Beane: Spielberg told me it would feel strange. It does feel strange. But I understand in poetry, strange is good.

~~~

Game Two Matchups

BANNERS AT SECRETS

Florence Banners Game Two Starter: Percy Shelley

1. Ben Mazer CF .272
2. Christina Rossetti LF .281
3. John Keats 2B .279
4. Friedrich Schiller 1B .254
5. Thomas Wyatt RF .299
6. Thomas Moore SS .291
7. Guido Cavalcanti 3B .271
8. Stefan George C .269
9. Percy Shelley P 23-8 2.78

Boston Secrets Game Two Starter: Plato

1. Nathaniel Hawthorne CF .273
2. Cole Porter 1B .297
3. Emily Dickinson C .278
4. Kanye West LF .267
5. Robert Frost SS .275
6. Carl Sandburg 3B .295
7. Paul Simon RF .270
8. Woody Guthrie 2B ,265
9. Plato P 25-8 2.21

~~

GAMERS AT LAUREATES

LA Gamers Game Two Starter: Democritus

1. Noel Coward SS .317
2. John Betjeman CF .325
3. Billy Collins LF .284
4. Eugene Ionesco C .279
5. Dorothy Parker 2B .282
6. Joe Green 3B .261
7. Ernest Thayer 1B .250
8. James Whitcomb Riley 3B .238
9. Democritus P 13-13 4.88

Dublin Laureates Game Two Starter: Blaise Pascal

1. Sarah Teasdale 2B .313
2. Oliver Goldsmith CF .275
3. Alexandre Dumas LF .338
4. Charles Dickens 1B .359
5. Aphra Behn RF .262
6. Mirza Ghalib 3B .254
7. John Boyle O’Reilly C .277
8. JK Rowling SS .228
9. Blaise Pascal P 11-10 4.67

~~

UNIVERSE AT CRUSADERS

Phoenix Universe Game Two Starter: Lucien Freud

1. Chuck Berry 3B .377
2. Maya Angelou C .316
3. Bob Dylan 2B .252
4. Decimus Juvenal RF .260
5. Paul Celan SS .249
6. Delmore Schwartz CF .247
7. Yusef Komunyakaa LF .224
8. Steven Dobyns 1B .230
9. Lucien Freud P 7-6 4.49

Madrid Crusaders Game Two Starter: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

1. Gerard Manley Hopkins CF .281
2. Phillis Wheatley LF .252
3. Anne Bradstreet 3B .373
4. Aeschylus CF .253
5. Saint Ephrem SS
6. Joyce Kilmer RF .265
7. Countee Cullen 1B .245
8. Francisco Balagtas C .233
9. Mozart P 12-4 3.77

 

 

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CEILINGS TUMBLE AS EMPEROR DIVISION RACE TIGHTENS

June 28, 2020 at 2:22 pm (Anne Sexton, Arthur Schopenhauer, Fellini, giacomo leopardi, Joyce Kilmer, Mary Angela Douglas, Napoleon Bonaparte, Oscar Wilde, Poetry Baseball, W.H.Auden, Wolfgang Mozart)

Philadelphia is "Wilde" about Oscar | PhillyVoice

Oscar Wilde: 4-0 with a shutout in last 4 starts to help the surging Goths.

The Rome Ceilings are still in first.  But barely.  After dominating the Emperor Division in the first two months of the season, their starters have forgotten how to win.

The Ceilings have lost 12 of their last 16.

Giacomo Leopardi had the kind of day which gives even greatness pause; it was when the Rimini Broadcasters flew into Rome to face the Ceilings—a 31-17 club beginning an 8 game home stand. The visiting Leopardi tossed a one-hitter and hit a home run, and out-dueled John Milton, 1-0.

Apparently, this brilliant performance by Leopardi knocked the Ceilings into a spin.

Since then, Milton has not won, John Dryden has not won and missed a start (Octavio Paz lost in his place), Ludovico Ariosto (who earlier won 6 straight) has not won, and Saint Augustine has not won.

The Ceilings have never been lower.

General manager Pope Julius II waved his hand when asked what was wrong.

“Nothing.”

Manager Richelieu practically spat his response.

“We’re good.”

Meanwhile, the Paris Goths exploded, going 12-4, as the Ceilings went 4-12, and we now have a race in the Emperor Division.

The Ceilings were hoping to break things wide open—as they appeared almost invincible in the early part of the season. But all it takes is a stumble (you start to lose those 3-2 contests instead of winning them) and another team gets hot.

The Goths of Charles X have made their run at home, in Paris, a beautiful park near the Seine, including a series against the Broadcasters in which Leopardi pitched well again, blanking the Goths for 8 2/3 innings—but Johann Wolfgang von Goethe answered with 9 shutout innings of his own, and Sophocles’ walk-off grand slam off George Orwell, the Broadcasters’ new hope, in the bottom of the ninth gave the Goths a 4-0 victory. Arthur Schopenhauer, the Goths manager, chortled afterward, “Sophocles is the ultimate goth—even more than Goethe!”

George Orwell, burned by Sophocles, has returned to the bullpen for the eccentric and highly individual Broadcasters with starter Samuel Taylor Coleridge now healthy—and who appears to be throwing the ball harder than ever; a good sign. And Jacques Lacan, replacing a struggling Ben Jonson in the rotation, has given the Broadcasters a lift (3-0, 2.80 ERA)—who have gained on the Ceilings, too, though their record is still under .500.  A long, thrilling, grinding, road trip for the Broadcasters included two back-to-back, come-from-behind, wins in Rome for this slowly reviving team owned by Federico Fellini: Jim Morrison, Anne Sexton, and Charles Bukowski, got key hits, as Orwell beat J.S. Bach twice in nail-biting relief appearances, once in extra innings—to the horror of the Ceilings fans in Rome.

The Corsica Codes of Napoleon (Codes ace Homer going 3-0) the Madrid Crusaders, and the Broadcasters all gained on the Ceilings while playing .500 ball during the Ceilings current slump, but Philip of Spain’s Crusaders have to be the happiest—they gained in the standings playing a long road trip, and best of all, signed both Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Ludvig van Beethoven to their starting pitching rotation. Mozart is 2-1 and Beethoven is 2-0 in their first 4 starts. The Crusaders, playing on the road, lost Beethoven’s first 2 games, 9-5 and 4-2, despite Crusader home runs by Mary Angela Douglas and Joyce Kilmer, as Ludwig was throwing too hard and not hitting the corners. Mozart has not been dominating; composers always need to adjust in a poetry league. But the addition of Mozart and Beethoven changes things: the Emperor Division is really up for grabs.

~~~

Ceilings 35 29 –
Goths 34 30  (1)
Codes 33 31  (2)
Crusaders 32 32  (3)
Broadcasters 30 34  (5)

~~~

And now a special treat.  Scarriet Poetry Baseball caught up with Oscar Wilde and W.H. Auden in a hotel cafe, following Wilde’s 3-2 complete-game victory in Paris over the Codes, despite a two-run homer by Auden.  At this writing, Auden has 20 home runs for Napoleon’s team, the most home runs in the Emperor Division, and is close to leading the entire league. Wilde has 6 wins for the Paris Goths, pitching beside Goethe, Chateaubriand, and Baudelaire.

Scarriet: Gentlemen…

Wilde: You flatter.

Scarriet: W.H. Auden…

Auden: Now you flatter!  Who’s he?

Wilde: (to Auden) You almost spoiled my win, silly.

Auden: My home run?

Wilde: Yes, what were you trying to do? (laughing)

Auden: I was distracted.

Wilde: By my pitch? (laughing)

Auden: No, by an idea for a home run. (laughing)

Wilde: You devil!  Where do you get these ideas? Not from me, I hope! (smiling)

Wilde and Auden pause, both looking at the interviewer.

Scarriet: (mind going blank) It’s a lovely day.

Wilde: To be outside.

Auden: It’s always better to be somewhere else.

Wilde: Precisely. Let’s go inside.

Auden: Is it too noisy here?  I thought we were inside?

Wilde: (looking around at the space) It’s difficult to tell. Are we?

Auden: We’re partially indoors. This large awning, and this carpet.

Wilde: A big cafe. So fancy, it’s hard to tell where we are. Who picked this place?

Auden: At least we’re not directly on the street.

Wilde: But we can see the street…

Auden: Thank God we can smoke here…

Wilde: I don’t know. What year is it?

Auden: It always feels like a year between cigarettes for me…

Wilde:  You measure time that way? By coughing?

Auden: Yes, it’s my clock. Sixty coughs per hour.

Wilde: But you have the breath of ten men.

Auden: My lungs are my best feature. I have handsome lungs.

Wilde: I can hear them. They’re lovely.

Auden: A bit high-pitched.

Wilde: Low tones can hardly be heard. I like a good, stabbing, high-pitched, voice!

Auden: (laughing, coughing) You’re making fun of me!

Wilde: Don’t lower your voice now! Don’t be suave, Wystan!  Be yourself. Scream.

Auden: (pealing, high-pitched laughter, interrupted by low, growling coughing)

Wilde: People are looking now! See what you’ve done, Wystan!

Auden: (still choking) Me??

Scarriet: Can I ask—

Wilde: About the United States?

Auden: (cough, cough) What about Ireland?

Wilde: Do you know what the United States was?  Ireland’s revenge against England.

Auden: And now? What about now, in 2020?

Wilde: China is England’s revenge—against the United States.

Auden: People have soured on Christianity. The pendulum is swinging towards a different kind of control.

Wilde: Oh life is pleasant now. Let’s talk about baseball. This gentleman wants to know—

Scarriet: I would rather you two just talk. I’ll stay out the way…

Wilde: This is the worst interview ever! (smiling) Let us two gasbags go on?  Is that a good idea?

Auden: Perhaps we could set a few things straight. History gets everything wrong.

Wilde: (sighing) Wystan! Do you have to bring history in? I’m still trying to figure out my mistakes…

Auden: They weren’t your mistakes. They were history’s mistakes.

Wilde: Yes, that’s what history is. But no, they were mine. They were my mistakes. (pause)

Scarriet: Can I borrow a cigarette…

Auden: Oh, certainly, dear!

Wilde: Our interviewer is so charming!

Auden: And he lets us say whatever we want! (laughing)

Wilde: He lets us do whatever we want! (laughing)

Auden: We should retire to our rooms..

Wilde: I have no rooms.

Auden: No rooms? Where are you?

Wilde: I don’t know. I don’t know.

(Someone is speaking to Auden)

Auden: Oh, we can’t smoke?

CONNECTION LOST

~~~

Scarriet Poetry Baseball.

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